The Fictional Andy Looney
By the Real Andy Looney
Back in 1982, when I was in college, I decided
to take over the Universe. It seemed like the job of Emperor of
the Universe was vacant, and so I made a grab for it. I declared
myself Emperor. And with my new found power as Emperor, I started
appointing my friends to cushy offices like Prime Minister, Admiral
of the Space Fleet, Queen of Alpha Centauri, and so on. My right
hand man, the High Advisor (who drove me around in the Imperial
Staff Car (his VW Beetle)) printed up calling cards for everyone
with their official Imperial Titles emblazoned on them. We all
had a great time.
The whole thing was going so well that I started dressing the
part and developing an entire persona as the Emperor. My closest
chums and I (the High Advisor and the Minister of Propaganda)
got some uniform coats from the thrift store and added some extra
pins and buttons and stuff. And we'd dress up in these outfits
and go to parties in character.
Then one night we decided the
thing to do would be to go over to the campus radio station and
try to get on the air, to start getting some press attention for
my new administration. In those days there was a show on WMUC
FM late Saturday nights called The Sub-Ether Wave Band, and the
DJs, Steve Hauk and Gary Sommer, spun a mix of hip music, sound
effects, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio shows. They
seemed like just the people to give the opportunity of an interview
to.
So we showed up and rang the bell. They didn't let us in the
door that night, but we kept after them and eventually they let
us sit around in the outer room and talk during times when they
weren't on the air. Eventually we won their trust and friendship
and stared going their every week.
And one week, Hauk surprised the absolute hell out of me by
creating a little 8 page Emperor of da Universe comic book, with
me as the main character! There were only 50 copies in that first
run of books, but he made others in larger runs and the story
got quite complex and interesting. The series contained 7 issues,
plus a graphic-novel length adventure called The Box. Circulation
on these comics was very limited, though, this being the early
days of the desktop publication revolution.
Shown here are panels from throughout the history of Emp comix
stories. Note how in the earliest versions he had a thin mustache.
When I shaved it off, Steve adjusted the character to suit.
copyright © Steve Hauk
But while my alter-ego had many exciting adventures in these
underground comic books, I felt I'd lost control of the character.
I often made suggestions about what I'd like to see happen and
who I'd like to see featured in the next issue (there was kind
of a Simpsons thing going on where everyone wanted to be immortalized
in the comic book) but at the end of the day, it was his story
not mine.
So, I wrote my own depictions of the Emperor, in The
Emperor Must Die! and in the character of the Emperor of Mars
in The Empty City.
In 1985, I got a box of little metal figurines of the Emperor
as part of a trade. Using some of the Emp comix panels as a guide,
someone at Grenadier (I wish I knew who) created this amazing
little inch tall statue of me!
More recently, I've appeared as the Emperor in art for the
Event
Horizon expansion of Super
Nova. It's for an Event card called "The Emperor's Birthday,"
created by the amazing Lee Moyer.
But the Emperor is not my only fictional incarnation. Before
I became the Emperor, I was the ruler of a mysterious castle in
a land where technology had been outlawed. Or so it was in The
Good Life, an early fiction effort by Charles
Dickson, based on a three day campfire story in which, for
some reason, I had been cast as the villain. Like Emp Comix, I
didn't really feel this fictional version of me was accurate,
but still, he wore my name and many of my features. The 24 page
manuscript tells a strange and surreal story of an Andy Looney
who lives in an outrageous and mystical castle, fashioned from
the shell of the Empire State Building, ruling over a group of
priests who worship his exotic lifestyle, the castle being the
only stronghold of technology in a medieval wilderness. He is
brought down by the hero of the piece, an idealist named Chuck
Walden.
Here's a couple of brief excerpts:
"The lord of the castle was wearing sneakers, black pants,
and a shirt with a pattern of red and yellow shapes. He had on
a black cape and a strange, shapeless blue hat with little golden
surfboards pinned on it."
"This Andy Looney was a strange character. It was obvious
he wielded great power. His castle was an incredible feat. Yet
he seemed crazy, insane. How could he have done these Herculean
feats? He had a god-like manner and attitude, and obviously enjoyed
it."
Here are some more of the many faces of the fictional Andy
Looney:
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As Colonel Klink |
As Meteu, the Medicine Man in BSA OA ceremonials |
As the Ghost of Jacob Marley |
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As Thurston Howell III (with Kristin as Lovey) |
As Napoleon (or rather, a deranged mental patient
who thinks he's Napoleon) |
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As Space Ghost (with Rob as Moltar and Keith as Zorak) |
As Groucho Marx |
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As Brasilgore, a Saxon foot soldier (with Amy Lindsey
carrying my shield) |
As the Mad Hatter (with Kristin as Alice) |
Copyright © 1998 by Andrew
Looney.
