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Milestone: with this entry, "What I Do?" has been up exactly six months. Like
on the 7th of last month, I was tempted to shut down on the anniversary, but
there's just so much to say, I can't stop now!
Last night, another of these singles dinner parties arranged
by an organization which I joined a while back. As ever, no
dating prospects, but I enjoy the restaurants and the discussion
(to a degree). Due to a cancellation they were desperate and
called me at the last minute; although I dislike driving all
the way up to the City on a weeknight I agreed, since the age
spread was younger than I usually get and I wanted
to try the restaurant <1>.
Just like the one I attended last Saturday (sorry no Journal mention
but there was nothing to say, really), as soon as we all met I could sense the each individual's unspoken
assessment and rapid dismissal of each other (and I did the
same) - George Castanza's observation that "If I like her, she
doesn't like me; and if she likes me, I don't like her" applies
here. Sigh. But it was a good dinner; when I announced
that my work was with an ATC system, one of the guys looked at
me and said sincerely "I hope you're really smart." (This comment
briefly paralyzed me.) I gave a real short description of what
it's like, really, then conversation focused on the displeasures
of air travel for a good part of the evening. That was fine, and
the food was great, but afterwards the chat shifted from movies
to the kind of enthusiastically entrepreneurial abstractions which
turned me off completely, so I excused myself early. It was just
way to "yuppy" for me, I had to flee! Earlier they were
talking about being with people even younger, and about
how all they talked about was drinking, playing bar
games, like "quarters" (tossing a quarter into a glass, if
you make it you either do or don't have to take a drink) and
"Cardinal Ruff-Ruff" (a precise description for which I
was unable to get; but some finger-tapping was involved).
This didn't actual make me feel old,
but it was certainly alienating. A common characteristic I've
observed in these dinners (last night was my fifth) is an
extroverted "alpha" individual tends to dominate, very swiftly
monopolizing conversation. Others (omegas?) tend to dummy up
completely, just listening and sitting very still. Naturally I
see myself as somewhere in between, trying to resist my
shyness by participating in the conversation (it's good
exercise for me). There were several alphas at this one,
competing for the spotlight in a non-hostile
way. One of the women, who was in the middle like me,
described a painful dinner she'd attended where nobody talked
but her (kind of like those G experienced
with his co-workers when he was out here). Theoretically
I think I'd welcome that situation in a singles setting, so I
could dominate and direct the conversation, but the reality
might be very different - emotional stress might be my undoing.
On my way home I heard a bit of BBC whimsy on the radio,
about the history of the first giraffe in France. Apparently
she was captured in the Sudan, then taken by boat to Marseilles
where she was walked overland to Paris (no railway in 1827) to
be presented to the King. Zarafa, by Michael
Allin, is the new book about her story; I think I'm going
to get it at once. <2>
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